Patronus
by Wackysocks
Summary: A series of oneshots about Patronuses and their casters. Canon pairings included.
1. Tonks

**Disclaimer- **I do not own the Harry Potter series or any of the characters; all are properties of J.K. Rowlings.

_**Patronus**_

Tonks

It couldn't be.

Tonks looked down at her slender hand tightly gripping her wand. She was standing in the living room of her parents' house. The clock's hands pointed to 2:30. _Why on earth am I still awake this late at night? _she wondered desperately. And yet, even as she wondered, she knew the reason why.

It was all because of him.

_Uggghhhh!!!_

She took a deep breath. _Calm down_, she thought to herself. _It was a fluke. An accident._

She had stayed up late tonight, reading. And then thinking. When the clock had hit 2:23, she decided that she wanted some company and cast the spell.

And that's when she knew it for real.

She had been suspecting it for months – she just couldn't get him out of her head. He was always there, worming his way into her mind regardless of whatever she happened to be thinking about at the time.

The way he looked when he smiled, when he laughed, when he stretched, when he yawned, when he reminisced about the old days and forgot, just for a moment, that he was once again caught up in this awful war.

In fact, it was that book she had been reading that had caused her to start thinking about him again – some Muggle book about a woman who loved a man she couldn't have. It was one of those books that Muggles kept reading, decade after decade, praising the author and reading it to their children and writing about it in their school papers.

It had made her wonder.

Ever since becoming an Auror and joining the Order of the Phoenix, she had spent more time around him. At first, he had been just a friend. Then, her best friend. Then, something more. It was when she noticed the way he looked when he smiled and laughed and stretched and yawned and reminisced that she knew – she was attracted to him in that special more-than-just-friends kind of way.

It had been after all of those shared patrols, those reconnaissance missions and long hours of paperwork and planning and late night talks while drinking steaming cups of tea, that she had found out.

It had been after they had had to cover up murders and modify memories of Muggles who had seen Dementors. and after she had stayed up taking care of him one night while he recovered from a full moon that she had had a moment of self-discovery and looked into his eyes and knew, just _knew _that he was the one she wanted to spend the rest of her life taking care of.

She was in love.

It wasn't what she had thought it would be. It certainly wasn't all girly and gushy and romantic and swoon-worthy wonderful like in those Muggle movies her dad had watched with her to "show her an example of Muggle entertainment." It was more of an achy kind of desperate longing, coupled with worry and a strange sort of painful hurting that wasn't physical pain, yet hurt more than anything she had ever felt. Did he love her? What if he didn't? What if he didn't want her and she had to pretend that nothing had changed from the way it had been . . .

And so, she had been reading that Muggle book to take her mind off all the worrying thoughts bouncing around in her head. But of course, it hadn't helped. The more she read about the woman's plight, the more she thought back to Remus and wondered. _Is it the same way with me? Is this an impossible romance?_

And the thoughts had kept coming and coming and bouncing around in her head until she had put the book down and surrendered her mind to them, scheming and planning and overanalyzing every little thing he had last said to her and how he had said it and what his facial expression had been when he said it, just to see if there were any clues there that showed that he liked her in that more-than-just-friends kind of way, too.

And then, when she had thought in so many circles that there was nowhere else to think, she became sadly lonely. He couldn't be there, of course, to keep her company, so she had decided to do the next best thing.

She thought of the way he looked when he smiled, the way his face had relaxed and the way the lines around his eyes had crinkled when he laughed at a particularly funny face she had adopted . . .

"_Expecto Patronum!"_

And what had happened had shocked her so much that it had vanished immediately.

She remembered learning Patronuses in her Seventh year. She had struggled and struggled and spent countless nights awake practicing until she had finally mastered the charm – the first Hufflepuff in her NEWT Transfiguration class to do so.

_"Expecto Patronum!" she said, hoping that all her nights of practice had paid off._

_Silvery smoke shot out of her wand, curled around, and materialized. A small, silvery chameleon sat on her desk, blinking its large eyes at her and flicking out its tongue to taste the air. Tonks was shocked._

_"Well done, Nymphadora!" said the professor with a rare, approving smile. "Not quite what I had imagined yours would be, but I must admit that it does suit your personality. Fifteen points to Hufflepuff for being the first in your House to produce a corporeal Patronus."_

_Tonks couldn't have been prouder. She looked down at her chameleon and it smiled at her in a very chameleony sort of way - the corners of its mouth turning up and its eyes crinkling around the corners. Tonks grinned back at her happy lizard._

_A chameleon!_

After that class, Tonks began to cast a Patronus whenever she was up late or alone. Its silvery glow was comforting, and its happy little smile was one that Tonks never got tired of.

At first, her mother had been confused when Tonks had told her what shape her Patronus took.

"What?" Andromeda had said. "A chameleon? That is the strangest Patronus I've ever heard of . . ."

But it had made sense to Tonks. She could change her appearance at will, and likewise, her chameleon could hange its silvery skin to assume the pattern of its surroundings. She used to sit up late at night doing her homework with her little chameleon, with its wide eyes and flickering tongue and happy smile. Sometimes, the little lizard ended up being more distracting than helpful when it came to homework. Tonks much preferred watching its skin flicker and shift in different patterns than studying for NEWT Potions.

But Tonks didn't mind. It was perfect. The chameleon _fit _her. There were times in her Seventh year when Tonks would think of her little chameleon and smile and change her hair to a patchy sort of color display that blended with whatever clothing she had chosen for the day. She, Tonks, was a chameleon.

But this Patronus she had just seen was not her chameleon.

Tonks took a breath to steady herself. _Okay_, she thought. _I'm going to do it again. Keep your cool, girl – think of something happy._

Remus' face filled her mind.

"Expecto Patronum!" she said firmly.

And a great silver she-wolf burst from the tip of her wand, landing on its paws on the floor. And this time, because Tonks had been expecting it, it did not disappear.

It was beautiful. The wolf's silver body was sturdy, lean, and covered in beautiful thick fur. If the wolf had been real, Tonks would have petted her and scratched between her ears and hugged her around her thick, muscled shoulders.

Tonks walked over to the couch and sank down onto the soft cushions, still staring at the beautiful creature.

The wolf turned its head to look at her, and it was as if the wolf _knew _what Tonks was going through, what she was thinking. It was as if this creature could see right into her head and know all of her worries and thoughts and heartaches for Remus.

And Tonks was filled with a wild sort of relief, mixed with a joyful exhilaration at this new Patronus, mixed with a strange desire to cry (from another confusing mixture of relief, happiness, and more worrying over Remus).

It was only after a minute or so, when the wolf had started exploring the room, that Tonks realized the enormity of what had happened.

_My Patronus changed. It will always be a wolf now. But why . . . _

But even as she asked herself the question, she knew the answer.

_**Remus**_.

Remus was a werewolf. And here was she, Tonks, no longer a chameleon but transformed into a beautiful wolf.

The wolf padded across the room and sat in front of Tonks, looking into her face again with those piercing eyes.

And Tonks knew, Tonks _knew_ that he was the one for her. There couldn't be, would never be another man for her. _I am a she-wolf now_, Tonks thought. _I am a wolf. Like Remus._

The wolf blinked. It exuded strength and confidence and patience and beauty and trust. It was perfect, and it was everything Tonks wanted to be for him who had utterly and completely won her heart.

Tonks looked at her wolf, which lay down on the floor in front of her, its head on its paws, eyes closed contentedly. She hardly knew this creature, and yet she already felt as if it _belonged_. It was perfect.

And as Tonks looked at the beautiful wolf, she chanced a thought for her lost chameleon. No more would she see its happy face, its mouth almost smiling as it uncurled its soft tongue to taste the air, its skin flickering colors to adopt the pattern of whatever it was sitting on.

And strangely, Tonks didn't miss it at all. It was okay.

Because now, Tonks was a she-wolf – strong, patient, and _made_ for the wolf who had won her heart.

_Remus_.

**Author's Note: Hope you liked this! This is the first in a series of one-shots about Patronuses that I am going to do. Please review! Tell me what you think and feel free to suggest future characters whose Patronuses I should write about! **

**My next one-shot is complete, but I will not post it until I have no less than five reviews. I think that's fair, don't you?**

**Thanks!**

**Wackysocks**


	2. Lily

Disclaimer **- **I do not own the Harry Potter series or any of the characters; all are properties of J.K. Rowlings.

_**Patronus**_

Lily

"Expecto Patronum!" Lily said fiercely.

Silvery smoke billowed out of her wand, taking form. _It's working, it's working!_ she thought. But even as she thought it, the smoke began to disappear. _No, no! _Lily thought frantically, her face contorted with effort. In another second, the last vestiges of the smoke had disappeared altogether.

"Aaaagggghhhh," Lily groaned, slumping into her chair.

Alice, also losing control of her Patronus, looked over at Lily. "You aren't going to get it the first time, Lily."

Lily frowned at her. "But I _want _to! I _get _charms. Why can't I get this one?"

"Well technically, this isn't a Charms charm. This is a Defense Against the Dark Arts charm."

Lily glared at her friend. "I do not like trying something seven times in a row and not being able to do it."

Alice gave her an _oh-please-get-over-yourself_ look. "Seven times, Lily?"

"Yes! I counted!"

The bell rang to signal the end of the class.

"Practice the Patronus Charm on your own," said the professor over the noise of the students packing their bags. "We will return to it in one week and I expect to see a corporeal Patronus from each one of you if you don't want to get marked down."

Lily walked out of the classroom with Alice, heading to the Great Hall for lunch.

"Lily, you look furious," Alice said.

"I'm not. I'm just _frustrated_ because I can't do this stupid charm! I mean, of all the things I could be doing with my time these days, practicing the Patronus Charm isn't one of them."

Alice, recognizing her friend's touchy mood, said nothing more.

o.o.o.o.o

Lily practiced the Patronus Charm every night that week. And yet, the night before the Charms class in which they were all required to have a fully-formed Patronus, Lily's had still not assumed a definite shape.

It was now one o'clock in the morning. The Gryffindor common room was deserted. Lily was sitting on the floor in front of her favorite armchair in front of the fire. Textbooks, pieces of parchment, and quills were scattered on the floor in front of her.

"Expecto Patronum!" she croaked, her voice hoarse from lack of sleep. Silver smoked curled out of her wand. _Happy thoughts, happy thoughts, _she thought desperately, trying to keep the memory of her with her family during the Christmas holidays last year in her head. But in a couple seconds, the smoke curled apart and disappeared in the air.

"Aaarrrggghhhh!" Lily groaned, pounding her fists on the ground. "Uggghhhh I hate this!"

She leaned her head back onto the cushion and closed her eyes. _Why won't this work? _she thought desperately.

"Lily? Are you alright?"

Lily's head snapped up, her eyes flying open. There was James, standing on the other side of the couch. His eyes were a bleary from sleep, a puzzled expression on his face.

And he was shirtless.

_Oh, Merlin save me,_ Lily thought somewhat desperately, scrambling to her feet. "James, I-I was just-"

"Did something happen? I heard a noise." He looked a little worried. _Noise? _Lily thought distractedly. _Oh . . . _

"Oh sorry," she stammered, "That was me. I was . . . frustrated, and I sorta just, hit the floor."

James raised his eyebrows in disbelief, his eyes fully awake. "You did what?"

Some of Lily's frustration returned. "Just drop it," she snapped at him, bending down to pick up her things.

"No wait," he protested, coming around to sit on the couch in front of her. "Was something wrong?"

Lily looked up at him and forced herself to look into his eyes, her frustration draining out of her as suddenly as it had come. _Why the heck doesn't he have a __shirt__ on?_ she moaned to herself.

"I was trying to . . . well I was practicing the, um . . . Patronus Charm," she said, stammering again, "for tomorrow's class."

"Well, technically it's today's class," James said.

Lily shrugged defeatedly. "Whatever."

"I can help you," James said.

Lily looked up, aghast. "James! It's not . . . I just . . . you don't have to do that! I mean, you're probably tired and it's the middle of the night and-"

"Well, I'm already awake, aren't I?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

She would normally have refused, but this was not exactly a normal situation, was it?

"Okay," Lily said uncertainly, standing up all the way.

James also stood up. "Can you get my wand for me? I left it on the table by my bed," he said.

Lily pointed her bed towards the boys' dormitories. "Accio James' wand!"

The wand came flying down into the room, straight towards Lily. James intercepted it before it reached her and twirled it around his fingers a couple times before turning to face her.

"Alright. So what exactly is it about the Patronus Charm that you are finding difficult?"

Lily looked down at the ground, partially because she was a little embarrassed and partially because she was finding James' toned Quidditch body more than just a little distracting.

"I . . . don't really know, actually," she said.

"Well, why don't you try it, then, and let me see what happens?" she heard him say.

Lily looked up at him, a little frightened. He was serious.

"Oh. Um, okay," she said uncertainly. She gripped the wand tightly and focused on the memory that she had earlier – the one of her with her family at Christmastime last year. But (as she expected), the same thing happened – the smoke billowed out of her wand, then slowly disappeared into the air.

"Okay," said James. "First of all, you need to relax your grip on your wand."

Lily looked down at her hand, which was holding her wand in a death grip. Making a conscious effort, she relaxed her hand. The wand slid out of her grasp and fell to the floor.

James tsked, picked up her wand, and handed it back to her. "Try again," he said. Lily took her wand back from him and tried to relax her hand. _It is not helping that I am so nervous_, she thought frantically.

James frowned, then walked around behind her. Suddenly, Lily felt his body press up behind her, his left hand on her left hip. Lily's breath caught in her throat and her stomach leaped so high Lily almost expected it to jump right out of her mouth. _Oh dear heaven_ . . .

"Like this," he said, his deep voice rumbling in his chest. She felt his right arm lift hers up and looked down. Her elbow fit neatly into the crook of his. His forearm twisted away from hers where their elbows touched and she saw his hand holding his wand in a firm, relaxed, confident grip.

His forearm was firm and muscular and tanned. Lily's heart skipped a beat and she felt her face grow hot.

What could this be, this strange feeling she had? It was her blood pumping faster with exhilaration, and it was adrenaline coursing through her body with uncertainty and a bit of fear, and it was something more that made her want to turn and jump into James' arms and throw her own arms around his neck and feel his muscular chest press against her.

She paused for a split second, then blinked hard to banish the thoughts from her head. _Get a grip, Lily. _She lifted her arm in level with his, and copied his grip.

"Good," he said. "Now think of something happy."

Lily scanned her mind and remembered a family vacation a couple of years ago on the beaches of Spain. "Okay," she said, her voice coming out a little unsteady.

"Cast the charm," he said.

"Expecto Patronum!" Lily said. The silvery smoke once again billowed out of her wand and began to take shape. But even as Lily started to get excited and anticipate the shape her Patronus would take, it started to drift apart and grow fainter until it completely faded.

Lily dropped her arm looked forlornly at the space where the last vestiges of silvery smoke had faded.

Lily felt James step away from her, and a split second later, he appeared in front of her. A crushing wave of disappointment that Lily could not explain crashed over her. She could still feel the imprint of his hand on her waist. Like something important was missing.

James had a pensive look on his face. "Maybe you're not choosing a good enough memory," he said. He looked down at the mess of parchments and books on the floor, bent over, and began to clean it up.

Lily stared at him. _Oh what is coming over me?_ she thought. _Is it the late hour? What is it that makes him look so attractive _. . .

James stood up and handed Lily her books. "Maybe if you get some sleep, it will turn out better."

Lily took her books and looked up at him. His hair was a little crumpled from sleep and his eyes were starting to droop with sleep again. "Maybe," Lily said softly.

James smiled a genuine smile. "Goodnight, Lily."

Lily couldn't help but to smile back at him. "Goodnight, James."

As Lily crawled into her bed and fell asleep that night, James' face was in the forefront of her mind.

o.o.o.o.o

Lily nervously slid into her seat in the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom. _Can I do this? _she thought worriedly. _Will my Patronus take a form? I __so__ do not want to be humiliated in front of this class_.

"Lily," hissed Alice. "Are you alright? You look petrified."

Lily looked back at her. "I sort of am, Alice. I just really don't want to mess up."

"Have you been practicing?"

Lily nodded yes.

"Has your Patronus taken a form yet?"

Lily shook her head.

"Not even a little?"

Lily shook her head, feeling sick, and faced the front of the class.

"Alright!" said the professor. "I hope you all practiced your Patronuses this week – I will be watching to see how you do. Let's start."

Students stood up all over the room, and silvery smoke began spewing out of wands with various cries of "_Expecto Patronum!_"

Lily stood up and exhaled. Looking up, she caught James' eye. He smiled an encouraging smile and winked at her. Lily's stomach flip-flopped. She smiled back a little nervously and looked away.

"Focus, please!" the professor said loudly over all the noise. "I am seeing far too much smoke and far too few Patronuses for my liking. Think of a moment that you remember _clearly_, that you enjoy _deeply_ and that you hold close to your heart. Think _emotion_, please!"

More cries of "_Expecto Patronum!_" and several Patronuses began making their ways around the room, along with their owners' excited chatter.

"A moment I remember clearly, enjoy deeply, and hold close to my heart," Lily murmured. She racked her brain, thinking of vacations and holidays with her family, school memories, summer fun . . .

And then a different memory came to mind. A memory from last night . . .

_James_.

Lily closed her eyes for a couple seconds and gave her mind wholly over to the thought of James from last night. His smile, his sleep-tousled hair, his muscular chest . . . how she had _felt _when he had put his hand on her waist . . .

"_Expecto Patronum!_" she said. And to her shock, out of her wand burst a beautiful, fully-formed doe. It landed gracefully on the floor of the classroom and turned to look at her, its expressive eyes blinking softly. Lily gasped.

"Oh, Lily!" Alice gasped. "She's _so _beautiful!"

Lily gazed wondrously at her doe. The doe blinked at her again and then turned to walk around the room, mingling with the other Patronuses.

"How did you _do _that?" Alice asked.

Lily looked at Alice, still a bit shocked. "I think it was because I thought of a different memory. Did you cast yours?"

"Yes," Alice replied. She looked around the room. "It's right over there next to – oh, Lily, look!"

Lily turned.

There, near the front of the room, was her doe. And there, next to her doe, was the most magnificent stag. He was beautiful. Lily's mouth fell open.

"Oh my gosh," murmured Alice beside her. "He's gorgeous."

"Yes," breathed Lily, "but . . . who?"

Other students were noticing the stag and doe, and pointing the pair out to their classmates. Soon, almost every student in the classroom was watching the two silver creatures, the other Patronuses in the room forgotten.

It was as if the two were made for each other. The stag looked down at the doe, who leaned her face up to him, blinking her eyes slowly. The two touched noses, closing eyes, and then the stag began to gently lick the doe's face.

There was a chorus of "Awwww"s around the room.

"Whose Patronuses are these?" asked the professor in a somewhat amused voice.

The students looked around the room. Murmurs broke out everywhere as people looked at their friends. Alice gave Lily a prod in the back. Lily started, then took a couple steps toward her doe.

As she moved toward her Patronus, which was still blissfully enchanted with the stag, she noticed the only other occupant of the room who was moving.

It was James. And he was moving toward the stag. And even as Lily registered this fact, he saw her. His eyes lit up and a breathtaking smile broke across his face.

Simultaneously, they both looked back at the stag and the doe. The stag finished his gentle cleaning of the doe's face and looked into her eyes. She blinked softly, closed her eyes, and touched his nose. The stag closed his eyes for a second, then stepped closer to the doe and bent his head to wind his neck with hers.

The class again let out a low "Awww" for the non-human couple.

And James looked at Lily and smiled, and right then and there, Lily's heart melted. She looked at him and her eyes teared up and she smiled at him, trying to put all of her happiness and joy and wavery, exhilarating new feelings all into that one smile for him.

He moved toward her and she moved toward him and then she was in his arms and he was holding her tightly, tightly. She breathed in his scent and again felt that exhilarating blend of adrenaline and excitement that she had felt the night before. It was a heady, addictive sort of feeling – one outside the realms of logical thought.

Dimly, Lily heard the other students clapping. It didn't matter. Nothing else mattered. All that mattered was that she was here, in James' arms. She closed her eyes and held him tightly, and felt him tighten his hold on her as well.

It was just so _right_.

Lily knew that James would ask her later about her Patronus. He would want to know what memory she had used that had caused it to finally take a form, and then he would want to talk about what had happened between his Patronus and hers.

But that didn't matter right now. What mattered was what Lily had found, had come to realize about herself - that from this point on, she would always be able to cast a Patronus.

She had gained a moment that she would always remember clearly, enjoy deeply, and hold close to her heart. One with that little hint of passion that made everything insignificant save for the man holding her tightly in his arms.

Because now, Lily was a doe – gentle, loving, and _made _for the stag who had won her heart.

_James._

**Author's Note: Wow, you guys - I did _not _expect there to be such a fast response. Here, as promised, is the next installment.**

**However, I have a new dilemma. I am not sure who I should write about next. Thanks to annajesse65230 for giving me a suggestion. I would like some more opinions, though - who do you all want to hear about? **

**It will be a bit longer before the next oneshot (seeing as I haven't written it yet), but I hope it shouldn't take too long.**

**Wackysocks**


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